Alliston Couple Living Off Holiday Trash Comforted By New Year's Fitness Plans They’ll Never Get Around To

An Alliston couple is preparing to radically change their diet and fitness level in the New Year by posting about it on social media and consuming everything in their home that is not an antioxidant-rich, bioavailable probiotic.

The couple claims to be living by the adage "Work hard, play hard" only in reverse where, much like someone opting for dessert before dinner, they enjoy the hard-won rewards of the labours before ever doing them.

"At first, I think, 'okay, okay...I have no business eating a fourth piece of this pie, but then I have a looksies at the body I'm about to have according to a drawing I did in my sketchbook and think, 'that guy can absolutely indulge in a few extra cals and should really learn to live a little,'" Paul Shoreman told the Alliston Gerald in an exclusive interview.

Shoreman spent some time describing Brad Pitt's "look" in Fight Club and how nobody would tell a man with that physique what he can and cannot eat. 

"We have one day planned already on the calendar. We're calling it 'crunch time,’” Melissa Shoreman wrote online. “The plan is that one of us is doing crunches every second of the day. Paul's cooking breakfast. I'm doing crunches. I get up to eat. Paul drops to the floor and does crunches. The whole day goes on this way. Are you telling me we can't now split a bottle of Bailey's over some Count Chocula?"