WANTED: Salaried Tenants to Fill Apartment in Public Washroom

Act now before someone else nabs this golden opportunity to live in an affordable, centrally-located apartment that is, technically speaking, within a stall in a public washroom.

ALLISTON,ONTARIO—Looking to live a clutter-free life of experience, adventure and unlimited toilet paper? Look no further.  Sweat disorder leaves you in constant need of a hand dryer? We've got you covered. Nostalgic for the communal frat atmosphere of college? This could be seen as a version of that.

Join the tiny home movement, the minimalist movement, and the grounding movement all with one signature on each of the lease agreement's twenty-five pages! URBAN/RURBAN LIVING AT ITS FINEST. Who says downtown must cost an arm and leg?

Check Out These Unbeatable Features:

-Steps away from Alliston Canadian Tire.

-Hydro, electric and water included.

-Actually located literally within Canadian Tire.

-Local art installations adorn four walls done in the style of "obscene graffiti and unknown smeared substances."

-Several phone numbers already written on wall.

-Drift off to sleep with ambient sounds of water trickle. 

-Antispash touchless microbial flush system. 

-Updates include: Plumbing, 2021; Tiles, 2020; light fixtures which alternate between mood-setting flicker and pink-noise buzzing sound, 1999.

-$1899/Month

-Interested candidates are asked to meet in front of the Alliston Canadian Tire before the mall closes at 10 pm. Landlord will be wearing a security uniform with 'Wade' on nametag. 

***Note*** Accepted Tenants are kindly asked to vacate the premises during day time.

*********Note********* Any violation of the above request will result in eviction, loss of last month's rent, and the landlord denying ever having associated, spoken, or done business with the tenant.