Residential Developer Not Sure Whether To Send Ford Valentines Flowers, Chocolates, or Off-Shore Bank Deposit

BEETON—In the gift section of the Beeton Foodland on Tuesday night, sources observed the president and founder of Plateau, a residential development company, deliberating between chocolates and flowers. The business owner appeared to have stopped at the grocery store to purchase a last-minute Valentine’s gift for a close friend.

“There’s roses, and he loves chocolates ,” the man was overheard saying. “But then again, a hefty but secretive transfer of funds into his off-share bank account always seems to do the trick.”

Plateau has become a presence in the New Tecumseth area where a development project currently lays in limbo. In the Greater Toronto Area, other lands owned by Plateau were greenlit for development in spite of spending decades in an environmentally-protected area known as the Green Belt. The premier reversed this decision when it was revealed that he shared a close friendship with the CEO of Plateau. 

One witness described the scene where the CEO was reaching for a box of Turtle chocolates when another residential developer happened to grab it.

“I thought it might come to blows, but a third residential developer started tossing all the bouquets in his shopping cart, and soon about eight or nine residential developers, none of whom live in this area, were roaming the store loading up their carts with all of the chocolates and flowers in sight, presumably all for the Premier,” the man said. “I just wanted something for the wife, but it’s all gone. She’s never going to believe me when I tell her a swarm of developers beat me to everything…”

At the time of publishing, the growing crowd was seen fighting over what little remained on the shelves of the bottled-water section.