Woman Claims Bike Lanes Ruining Parts of City She Would Never Live In

TORONTO—A woman told reporters last Monday that the Bloor and Ossington neighbourhood she visits once or twice every three years is being destroyed by cycling infrastructure. 

“It’s like people making the decisions about this area are only thinking about the people living in this area,” Beverley Ford told reporters. “Like, who even voted for them?”

Hudson explained that she would not live in the neighbourhood herself, citing demographics and a faint exhaust smell she noticed last time she had visited. 

“I just feel bad for the small businesses here. Without any parking, I don’t see them surviving,” Ford went on. “Who’s going to shop here, these doofuses currently telling me to move my car off the bike lane?”

Reports indicate that the woman's husband exited a McDonald's, approached the vehicle, and was eager to give a testimony.

“We just park here to get to Trinity Bellwoods–that’s our favourite neighbourhood,” he explained. “Ever since they put in all those bike lanes, we’ve had to walk twenty minutes to get there, but we do what we gotta do.”

At the time of publishing, the McDonald’s the Fords had parked in front of had been replaced by a cafe that pays above minimum wage, hosts open mic, and runs a bike-repair workshop in the back.